I ran today...

I ran today. Not fast, and I never run in a way that looks pleasant. But, I ran nonetheless. Well, I ran and then I walked, and then I ran a bit slower, and then I walked some more; then one of the kids called to check on me and I decided that may be a good time to stop and stretch...sure.

But I ran. As I ran, I thought. As I ran, I watched. As I ran, I prayed. (Thinking, watching, and praying are all easier for me during the walking portions.)

I got passed on the sidewalk by a much faster runner and thought...my first response was to encourage him in his work, as runners often do. I thought, my first response had nothing to do with COVID, masks, social distancing (which became less and less of in issue with each passing second; that dude was fast), or the news. I thought like a runner. It felt normal. If felt human. It felt nice.

I thought as I watched him pull away, that neither of us seemed to run with any fear. I didn't run looking over my shoulder. I didn't run, wondering who was in the car at the intersection. I ran without concern. I thought about Ahmaud Arbery and his family. It didn't feel normal. It felt all too human. It didn't feel nice.

As I ran, I watched. Today was a beautiful day, and I watched it. I watched the birds fly, the traffic move, and I watched people move through their day. It felt normal. If felt human. It felt nice.

As I ran and watched, I prayed. I prayed for the people I saw. I prayed for the families at the park. I prayed for the families in the apartments I passed. I prayed for my family; for Amy and our children. I prayed for our extended families. I prayed for our church family and others pastor friends I know who are striving to love and lead people well. I'm a slow runner, I had lots of time to pray. It felt normal. If felt human. It felt nice.

I ran today. I'll be sore tomorrow. I'll run again, I'll watch again, I'll pray again. It will feel normal. It will feel human. It will feel nice.

On Fatherhood: Having, Becoming, Striving, and Abiding

     One of my first conscious memories is of me waiting for my father.  As a pastor, he had been out of town at a state convention meeting for our denomination.  He was expected home and the weather had turned bad.  I remember waiting with great anticipation for his return and had taken my perch atop the couch to look out the living room window.  The rain pelted the glass as I kept my eyes glued to our street.  Finally, I saw our old green Plymouth Fury III turn down our street and he was finally home.  As he drove toward our driveway, a flash of lightening exploded in the sky and the bolt parted directly over the car as if it were a great flash for the camera that was the memory of a young boy.

     I've always had a great love, respect, and affection for both of my parents.  My mother is a wonderful blessing to me. She has prayed for me, cared for me, ministered to me, and been gracious to me in more ways than I will ever be able to recall, communicate, or thank her for.  However, like many young boys, I was a self-proclaimed "Daddy's boy".  I wanted to be around him, to look like him, to talk like him, to smell like him, and to have a rocking' mustache like him (yep, a rocking' mustache).  He was, and is to this day, my hero and more than anything I wanted to be with him and for him to be proud of me. I did not have this love and admiration as a standard for him to achieve, I just loved my dad and wanted to be like him.

     Now, many years later, I have littles. Littles that aren't so little anymore. Little eyes watching, ears listening, minds processing, mental notes being taken about what it is to be a man, a Godly man, a husband, father, brother, friend, pastor, student, and most importantly a disciple of Jesus. I have a daughter who has spent the last 18 years, knowingly and unknowingly, creating standards and expectations about her future husband based largely on what she has seen in me. I have four boys who are, intentionally and unintentionally, developing a picture of what a Godly man is to be based on what they see, or don't see, in me.

Reality Check: I can't live up to that.

     Alone, I can do nothing. Wait, I can do something. I can, all by myself, give my children a terrible picture of manhood. All by myself I can be selfish, angry, harsh, impossible to please, arrogant, and the list goes on but it gets no better.

     But there is hope. Hope for my children and hope for eternity. In John 15:5, Jesus told his disciples, "I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing."

     Listen carefully to what Jesus said. "...he who abides in Me...". Not "he who works harder than anyone else". Not "he who is most naturally gifted". Not "he who is (fill in the blank)". None of those things, but rather it is in the abiding. It would appear that the way that I am to become the man I am to be, I need to do less striving and more abiding. As I walk tightly to Jesus, HE makes me to be who I need to be.

     I remember as a kid very regularly interrupting my dad during his Bible reading/study time or his prayer time. I remember coming into his office where he would be kneeling at a chair and I would climb on the backs of his legs while he prayed. I'm not sure I ever thought of myself as a distraction but I'm sure it was difficult to fellowship with God while I climbed on him like playground equipment. Seeing my dad (and my mom) with open Bible, diligently engaged in study and prayer were COMMON occurrences. They were living out the model of walking tightly to Jesus to be disciples of His, and my little eyes saw, my little ears heard, my little heart understood, and my little life was shaped.

     I'm not sure where in the last 40 years I got convinced that my effort was more important that His work in me. I'm not sure where I traded abiding for striving. However, I am thankful for the reminder to pay more attention to His work in me than my work FOR Him.


     ...and I learned this first from my dad.

Last place but still winning...

Today I finished my 7th half-marathon (2nd trail half). I finished my 7th half-marathon. I did not run a half-marathon.

For the last several weeks, ok months, my training has been sporadic at best. Some weeks I was diligent and consistent; other weeks, well...let's just say less than consistent. So, that being the reality, my expectations today were to finish. Not to compete, finish. Not to win my age group, finish. Not to stand on the podium, finish. And finish I did, in last place. Not last in my age group. LAST OVERALL. Like "the volunteers were waiting for me so they could clean up" kind of last. All the cars gone in the parking lot kind of last. Like "I told the people at the last water stop that there was no one behind me and I'll be the official sweeper" kind of last.

And I feel great.

I feel great because just a few years ago I could not have finished. I've now finished 7. I feel great because I'm healthier at 46 than I was at 26, or at 36. I feel great because I got to run/walk with a friend who I've not seen much in the last few years. I feel great because, even moving as slowly as I did, I ran/walked/slid/limped faster than all the people who slept in today. I feel great because I'm not competing against other runners. I feel great because I'm competing against not running, and I'm winning. I'm competing against heart disease and diabetes because my genes aren't helping much, and so far I'm winning. I'm competing against pride that makes me want to compete against other runners, and some days I'm winning. I feel great because even though physically today I've felt HORRIBLE, I'm winning because I finished. I was able to persevere. I was able to have the volunteer place a finishers medal around my neck (I'm thankful he hung around to give it to me, and I apologized in case I made him late for something).

I came in last and I feel great. Someone has to finish last in each race and today it was me, and I'm fine with that, because I finished. As I plodded along I prayed, I pondered, I enjoyed the sounds of the woods and the blessing of spending several hours in God's creation. I enjoyed the feeling of rain on my face, the conversation with new friends on the trail, the silence of solitary miles, and the blessing of each breath.

Spiritual life is much like today's race. Some seasons of life we are running smoothly and our feet are sure. Some seasons are painful and seem like the hill never stops. Some season are just plodding along, putting one foot in front of the other in what seems an un-ending repetition of steps exactly like the thousand before it. But friend, keep going. Keep moving. Keep walking/running/limping along. Finish.

"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

The day God used a ham sandwich...

Today I was hungry. It was lunchtime so that made sense. I walked to the kitchen and made a simple ham sandwich. Not that I was necessarily craving a ham sandwich, but we had bread. We had ham. We had mustard. Yada, yada, yada, ...a ham sandwich. So, I ate a ham sandwich and a half of a glass of sweet tea.

When I finished lunch I thought, "I want something else."

But then I thought, "Why?"

My hunger had been abated. I had plenty. My body needed food for energy, and sufficient food had been provided. Why did I want more?

I wanted more because I've allowed myself to be conditioned to have more than I need. Not only allowed it, I've run to it. My hunger had been satisfied. I had plenty to drink. I had been able to walk to the kitchen inside a home that is filled with healthy people. I took food out of a refrigerator that was running on electricity inside that house. I turned on a water faucet that brought clean water inside that house. I had just finished running errands in a truck that runs well. I could see to get my food, I could smell it as I prepared it, I could taste it as I ate.

I have so very much. Why did I want more?

I wanted more because I am selfish. I am predisposed to want more than I need. I am conditioned to think that enough isn't enough, but that more is enough. Until it isn't. But I am redeemed to be more than just what I am in myself. I have been made alive in Jesus to be an adopted child of the King, a co-heir with Jesus, and sealed by the Holy Spirit to the praise and glory of God. I am being made more into the likeness of Jesus and I am thankful. Thankful that He is gracious to finish the work in me that He has started. I am thankful that I am loved by God.

I am thankful for how God used the simplicity of a ham sandwich to show me how 'unsimplistic' I am but need to be.

What did you have for lunch?

Strategically simple...

An awesome thing just happened.  My son just announced that he needs a new pair of cargo shorts.

This is Graham.  He is an adventurer.  He is a climber.  He is an outdoor kid.  He is a wearer of khaki cargo shorts. Often.  Most days. And specifically, THIS pair of khaki cargo shorts. And today, they've come undone.  His request was simple.  He had worn out these shorts and needed new ones.  Not ten pair, just one. One to replace the one that was used up.

This may not sound like a significant happening, but his request has created a pondering in me.  As we move from the Thanksgiving season toward the end of 2016 I am, as I do most years, thinking of how I stewarded the ending year and how I can do better in the coming one.  Have I taken advantage of the opportunities God brought to me?  Have I used well the things God has put in my hands?  Have I longed for things that didn't advance the Gospel or care for people or disciple those who live under my own roof?

In my pondering the phrase that has come to mind is "strategically simple".  By strategically simple, I mean not just simplicity for the sake of being simple, but simplicity with purpose.  Simple, for the sake of something greater.  Simplicity as a means to something bigger, not as an end of itself.

As I pondered, I asked myself some questions.  I started with "Will I do with less so that those who have none may have enough?"  Do I really "need" anything?  I have food to eat.  I have clothes to wear.  I have a bed in which to sleep that is indoors.  My wife and I have health by which we can be employed to care for our family's needs.  God has been wonderfully good in His provision for us.  I WILL do with less, so that those who have none can have enough.  I WILL give strategically to support ministries of the church, denomination, and others around the world to serve those with the most need.

"Will I spend strategically for the sake of the gospel and ministry causes?"  How do I spend the money that God entrusts to me?  For example, I love to drink coffee.  There are TONS of groups/companies who do good work for people all around the world via coffee.  I mean, how easy is it to buy something that I already need and to spend that money with a company that will do good with the money I give them.  No brainer.  In that,  I will look for companies that use percentages of their profits well and support them.  I WILL spend strategically to use the resources God has given me to advance kingdom causes around the world.

"Will I NOT spend for things I don't need?"  I have SO SO SO SO SO much.  I have clean clothes to wear EVERY DAY.  I have NEVER not had access to clean drinking water...and didn't have to walk a mile for it.  I have NEVER had to build a fire to cook at my house to feed my family.  So, why do I buy more stuff?  Do I really NEED another pair of pants or another blue shirt?  How many ________ do I need?  Nothing.  I have need of nothing.  We buy what we don't need OFTEN.  We buy for others what they don't need OFTEN.  Let's not do that this year.  If you want to buy a gift in the year, give a donation in someone's honor to One Heart Africa (www.oneheartafrica.org) and help Ryan and Anna Carmichael, or to Belay Global (www.belayglobal.org) and help Heather Bennett.  Give to the International Mission Board (www.imb.org) or the North American Mission Board (www.namb.net).  Give to the work of the Tennessee Baptist Convention (www.tnbaptist.org) and invest in things like the Tn Baptist Children's Home or the Tn Baptist Adult Home.  There are so many people doing such great work.  Join in.

2017 is going to hold some AWESOME opportunities do invest in the eternal.  Let's use them well and let be strategically simple.  Who's in?

Tired

I'm tired.

Not the just sleepy kind of tired, even though I could use a tight 12 hours; but rather the kind of tired that when you sit down to write the blog post that is three days past due the words won't cooperate kind of tired.

The weary and spent kind of tired that comes from living in a world that is wrecked by the fall and the constant reminders that come in all shapes and sizes.  Huge reminders like mass shootings and terrorism and then the smaller, more personal reminders like the impatience laden underpinnings of the anger in my own heart.

The exhausted kind of tired that comes from the busyness of days in which it seems like you've run a marathon on a treadmill; GREAT expending of effort to get nowhere.  Wondering at the end of the day if anything you did that day mattered in the context of eternity.

The cranky tired that comes from a lack of sleep; not that you've been up interceding for the families that you've dealt with all week or staying up late digging into the truth of God's word; but rather dealing with a puppy that has his days and nights mixed up and wants to play (...oh, by the way, we got a puppy).

But also the kind of tired from interceding for the families that you've dealt with all week, my family. When you are part of God's church, people are family.  We share the commonality of Christ and are HONORED to bear one another's burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ.  Those families are mere friends, we're family.  When one hurts, we all hurt.  When one celebrates, we celebrate.  And, in that living of life together, we get tired.

The tired that comes when you wonder if you'll ever get parenting more right than not right.  The tired that comes when you realize that you probably didn't love your wife that day the way that Jesus does the church.  The kind of tired that makes you wonder if God ever just looks and shakes His head.  The kind of tired that makes you feel like you've pushed to the extremes of grace.

And in the midst of the tired, the exhaustion, the spent, used up feelings; there lies truth.  Not the fleeting sense of uncertainty that comes with working from an emotional and physical deficit; but the strong assurance of the truth of God's word that reminds us of Him.

We do not have a High Priest in Jesus who has not experienced the brokenness of this world.  We have a Savior who has been tired.  He experienced exhaustion.  He carried the burden of others in a way that we will never experience.

So in the midst of the tired, I am reminded.  Not by looking into the depth of my heart to find why I have trouble creating margin in my life.  Not by examining my time management skills because life RARELY checks my calendar before happening.  Rather, I am reminded by the unchanging, eternal, inspired truth of God's word.  Reminded, encouraged, strengthened, and enabled to rest.

     "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of       the earth does not become weary of tired.  His understanding is inscrutable.  He gives strength to the weary and to him who lacks might He increases power.  Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." ~ Isaiah 40:28-31

     "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you REST.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find REST for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." Jesus ~ Matthew 11:28-30

So if you are tired, look to Him.  If you are weary, lay your burden on His shoulders.  Stop striving and start abiding with Him.  Rest.  But not in yourself or your own ability; rest in the one who loves you.  Rest in the one who can carry all that we have.  Rest in the one who gives inexhaustible grace for the broken and rest for the weary.

Rest.

(Now, go to bed. It's too late to be reading a blog. :) )

Coffee Cup Choas - The "Red Cup" Controversy

Much has been said, written, blogged, videoed, updated, and tweeted regarding the 'red cup controversy' of Starbucks NOT putting Merry Christmas on their cups this year.  With all the attention I thought it time to add my thoughts to the blogosphere.

I've searched the depths of my heart and mind and cannot find a place where I could really care any less about what Starbucks puts on its cups this time of year.

Why wouldn't I care?  I say, why would I?

Why would I expect a company who claims no Christian affiliation to even recognize a Christian holiday?  I've never heard a Starbucks executive come out and claim to be a follower of Jesus.  (I'm not saying there aren't, I've just never seen one.)  I've never seen any evidence in the company or its marketing or merchandise that would lead me to believe that Starbucks affirms any of the good news of the gospel or the exclusivity of Jesus.  They make coffee, they aren't a church.

So there, I genuinely could not care any less.

If you are a follower of Jesus and drink coffee, I'd remind you that we are called to steward well all that God puts into our hands.  Instead of expending energy on your protest, do some research and find a coffee company that uses part of its profits to do good work in the world from a Christian foundation and a Biblical worldview.  If you'd rather go and buy coffee from Starbucks, treat your barista well.  When you order, speak in a way that honors Jesus and wish them Merry Christmas if you like; then take your red cup and enjoy, and remember that the person who just handed you that coffee may not know Jesus yet either.  Are they closer to coming to know him by the way you just interacted with them?  Besides, isn't that what Christmas is about, bringing salvation and hope to the world?

(But wait a minute.  Thanksgiving hasn't even come yet...but that's another blog.)