Last place but still winning...

Today I finished my 7th half-marathon (2nd trail half). I finished my 7th half-marathon. I did not run a half-marathon.

For the last several weeks, ok months, my training has been sporadic at best. Some weeks I was diligent and consistent; other weeks, well...let's just say less than consistent. So, that being the reality, my expectations today were to finish. Not to compete, finish. Not to win my age group, finish. Not to stand on the podium, finish. And finish I did, in last place. Not last in my age group. LAST OVERALL. Like "the volunteers were waiting for me so they could clean up" kind of last. All the cars gone in the parking lot kind of last. Like "I told the people at the last water stop that there was no one behind me and I'll be the official sweeper" kind of last.

And I feel great.

I feel great because just a few years ago I could not have finished. I've now finished 7. I feel great because I'm healthier at 46 than I was at 26, or at 36. I feel great because I got to run/walk with a friend who I've not seen much in the last few years. I feel great because, even moving as slowly as I did, I ran/walked/slid/limped faster than all the people who slept in today. I feel great because I'm not competing against other runners. I feel great because I'm competing against not running, and I'm winning. I'm competing against heart disease and diabetes because my genes aren't helping much, and so far I'm winning. I'm competing against pride that makes me want to compete against other runners, and some days I'm winning. I feel great because even though physically today I've felt HORRIBLE, I'm winning because I finished. I was able to persevere. I was able to have the volunteer place a finishers medal around my neck (I'm thankful he hung around to give it to me, and I apologized in case I made him late for something).

I came in last and I feel great. Someone has to finish last in each race and today it was me, and I'm fine with that, because I finished. As I plodded along I prayed, I pondered, I enjoyed the sounds of the woods and the blessing of spending several hours in God's creation. I enjoyed the feeling of rain on my face, the conversation with new friends on the trail, the silence of solitary miles, and the blessing of each breath.

Spiritual life is much like today's race. Some seasons of life we are running smoothly and our feet are sure. Some seasons are painful and seem like the hill never stops. Some season are just plodding along, putting one foot in front of the other in what seems an un-ending repetition of steps exactly like the thousand before it. But friend, keep going. Keep moving. Keep walking/running/limping along. Finish.

"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

The day God used a ham sandwich...

Today I was hungry. It was lunchtime so that made sense. I walked to the kitchen and made a simple ham sandwich. Not that I was necessarily craving a ham sandwich, but we had bread. We had ham. We had mustard. Yada, yada, yada, ...a ham sandwich. So, I ate a ham sandwich and a half of a glass of sweet tea.

When I finished lunch I thought, "I want something else."

But then I thought, "Why?"

My hunger had been abated. I had plenty. My body needed food for energy, and sufficient food had been provided. Why did I want more?

I wanted more because I've allowed myself to be conditioned to have more than I need. Not only allowed it, I've run to it. My hunger had been satisfied. I had plenty to drink. I had been able to walk to the kitchen inside a home that is filled with healthy people. I took food out of a refrigerator that was running on electricity inside that house. I turned on a water faucet that brought clean water inside that house. I had just finished running errands in a truck that runs well. I could see to get my food, I could smell it as I prepared it, I could taste it as I ate.

I have so very much. Why did I want more?

I wanted more because I am selfish. I am predisposed to want more than I need. I am conditioned to think that enough isn't enough, but that more is enough. Until it isn't. But I am redeemed to be more than just what I am in myself. I have been made alive in Jesus to be an adopted child of the King, a co-heir with Jesus, and sealed by the Holy Spirit to the praise and glory of God. I am being made more into the likeness of Jesus and I am thankful. Thankful that He is gracious to finish the work in me that He has started. I am thankful that I am loved by God.

I am thankful for how God used the simplicity of a ham sandwich to show me how 'unsimplistic' I am but need to be.

What did you have for lunch?